Be Your Own Truth Seeker!
One thing I can’t do is lie or be dishonest. Not only to myself but to others too. I have tried to lie and not be honest to get out of a situation, to mask over feelings and hurt or try and let someone down gently but it just sends my stomach and nervous system into turmoil and I get so tense and relaxation forget it.
Yoga has taught me so much about truth because the practice is so intimate and I can never hide from my emotions or feelings that rock up during moving with the breath. For me doing the breathing is the pose.
When we are not truthful to ourselves, someone, our feelings, our thoughts this reflects right back at ourselves. I only teach from my experience and lessons, how I got though certain periods of my life and as a result of those experiences can help others and share the tools that helped me.
I lose my father in a car crash when I was 25 and it wasn’t until 7 years later that I gave in and got help for my grief. Within that 7 years I became moody, unfulfilled, aggressive, I threw myself into my work, I felt the need to control and contractedRosacea on my face, I couldn’t sleep and I blamed a lot.
Thankfully through the help and some stern words from my know husband I realised and got help. It was the wake up call I needed and before I lost what I had. I had to admit to myself I needed help. So I got help. The 1st 6 months was the hardest for me but in the midst of those hard times it was also very empowering. I began to feel blips of change, I cried I shouted, I let out my frustrations but each time left feeling lighter and I was beginning to understand myself. I started to slow my life down, I started to notice myself, I was understanding that is was my choice to change and find my own freedom to stop blaming and live the life I was born to live. I learnt that no one is responsible for my happiness. No husband, No child, No parent its all down to me.
I never felt afraid of change just really excited at feeling and learning to and get, build MY life back. I got so hungry to change and thinking of myself become and is still is what keeps my life in balance and happiness.
I look back at those times as massive lessons and am so grateful for finding my strength. This in turn gave me the strength and courage I needed to nurse and watch my mums life slowly fade and die through her tremendous battle with cancer for 3 years. The lesson I learnt through that journey was incredible and I will forever be thankful for my mum for that.
When I practice yoga, it really is a self exploration for me. If I feel unsettled in my body, or have something on my mind, or maybe I have an ache or a pain or maybe I have so much energy that I need to release it is for me a self enquiry.
Life can hurt us and yoga sure can and has helped me. For me yoga is about peeling away layers of stuckness, layers that are heavy, layers of negativity, layers of uncertainty, layers of insecurity. And I love peeling back my layers to reveal and see how it feels to do my own work and feel the beauty that is freedom. Giving myself, time and space on the mat. Yoga provides a great vehicle for slowing down and learning to truly take care of ourselves. Yoga simply makes us feel better. Full, deep breathing into all corners of the body makes people feel better. Feel stronger. Feel more energetic. And it has been doing so for thousands of years. We all no when we feel stuck, thoughts we cannot shift but most of the time we try to fulfil ourselves through a better time, ignoring our thoughts, maybe a new outfit or waiting for the perfect man.
Choice, freedom, fulfilment is all ours to have. We can continue to stay stuck in the greyness, drone of life or we can live, indulge, embrace everything it has to offer. We can turn all those wishes into reality and fulfil our dreams. And believe me if feels so amazing after the battle I had with myself for years.
Whenever someone comes up to me after class or writes me an emotional email to tell me how much they have benefited from their holiday with us and yoga practice. I feel the gratefulness and love from my Father and Mother and will to continue to grow and enjoy this wonderful gift of life together.
By simplifying, slowing, and centring on the breath, we cultivate patience, a greater understanding. We can shift our thoughts. We no longer battle with difficulties, but rather learn how to ease through them, and enjoy and embrace the fact that we are here.
Jo xo
